A: Amen Aman Heyman

Part 3 of the A-Z of EZ Series

About Ezra Vancil Songs From A To Z 

As a fun break from the day-to-day, I'm going back in time and posting each track that has been released (publicly or private promotions) from the past decades. We will go through around 200 tracks from A-Z, the good, bad, and ugly of my music career.
Track 3

Messages Are better Sent by post, not songs.  

There is a saying, that goes something like: "if you want to send a message use the mail." I think this came from the movie biz.

I dig that quote, and I get it.

Messages and meanings are something that might come from a work, but I don't think it's good to front-load your creative process with messages and meanings. i.e. Contemporary Christian Music, Pop Country, or the latest nasty apparition of this method, Woke Music.
The hardest thing to get past is that it sometimes, you might even say, many times, it works. You make a song that is relevant to the cultural norms and people can easily package and label it. It might even be the quickest way to writing a "hit song", whatever that is nowadays.
But for an artist these literal categorical message songs might as well be chains around your wrist. And for the most part, they will not survive in the ever-changing ideas of the world. But, a song pulled down from the heavens, from the quiet place? That song, whether popular or not, will live on in someway... IF ONLY in the change it made in you.
I'm trying to put out a couple of A-Z songs every evening, so I don't have time to expand on this. But if you look at it in the Jungian way, the song is in the right brain, dream world, the left brain is there to bring into a logical order. Or in a more spiritual way, bring the song from the heavens to the earth where it can become material.

To go the other way around is to contrive a song, to manipulate.. which admittedly I've done it, and about 80% of music I hear now days is exactly that.

No looking back. Just start the next song.

I don't, in practice, keep any method of songwriting on my studio shelf. I've tried many ready-made methods and I've also made up my own—none of them are holy to me. In fact, if they become 'holy' then that is an obvious sign that I need to try a new way.

Yet, even though the method is not holy. The principles are holy to me. Because this is my life. If music is not helping me understand myself and the world more or helping me find my blind spots and shadows, then fuck it.. what a waste of time.  
I'm going through this A-Z series with fresh ears on a lot of these songs. When I've written a song, then recorded it; I've possibly heard it up in the thousands of times.

Sometimes it is years or decades before I hear a song after it is released unless it's one of the popular ones that I perform and do promotion on regularly.

This was not one of those..and you can probably hear why. It is harsh on the language, and for some the message, at first glance, is also quite unpalatable, I'm sure.

In search of Catharsis

Now, that said... I don't think this is a great song. It's okay. It was more for my own inner work. But that is kind of the point. To continue to grow as a human, and a songwriter; that inner work must continue, and it must in some way be put out in the streets for people to sneer or jeer or cheer or ignore.

It doesn't matter what they do though. It matters that you pushed through another door.

Let your music interpret your heart

Some of my songs are very literal, and to listen to them some might think that I had to come at it with a message or story I wanted to tell. Depending on the song, it's not true of me. I want to stay out of the way and let the song tell me what it is about. If I do this properly, which is maybe only 15% of the time, the song lives on to me. It speaks to me where I am no matter how many years have passed. Its message is liquid and can morph many levels of personal interpretation as the years go on and as I grow into new selves.

This song, Amen Aman Heyman, is, for me, not the greatest, but now after listening to it again after years, and not even remembering what I thought it was about several years ago. It has fresh new meanings for me. It speaks to me about this current time we are in.
I removed this song from the web a ways back as well as the EP it is on, for mainly quality reasons. I felt like it could have been much better on the production side. But if you want to hear it, it is available to my Bandcamp community members here
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